


Triple Sonnet for Black Hair - Dorothy Chan

by sporktato



Series: To Make Poetry of Life [3]
Category: DCU, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Batfamily, Character Study, Drabble, Inspired by Poetry, Jason Todd Has Issues, Red-Haired Jason Todd, but he's working through them, soft boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:42:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22174993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sporktato/pseuds/sporktato
Summary: Jason contemplates his box-dye hair, and realizes he just might miss the red
Series: To Make Poetry of Life [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1585585
Comments: 9
Kudos: 162





	Triple Sonnet for Black Hair - Dorothy Chan

Alfred warned him a few times about the dangers of dying his hair, not that Jason listened obviously. The old man had said it would turn his roots, that even if he were to ever go back to his natural colour, it would never be quite the same. Jason had told the man to mind his own damn business, back when he was still a street rat, and to let him do what he wants. Looking back, it’s a good metaphor for what Bruce did to him; turned Jason’s roots and even now after all this time he still can’t quite seem to find himself. Alfred had said to wear his red hair proudly.

Red, the colour Jason’s mother had hated, because it brought too much attention and only showed how everyone can bleed and hurt.

Red, the colour Jason finds painted on lips that are later scrubbed clean, because if their families were to know what these women (and men) were doing to keep them safe and fed it would break their hearts.

Fact, Alfred tells him: traditional Chinese women wear red wedding dresses, as if it makes Jason any less dangerous, or feel any better.

Fact, Jason spits back: white folk wear black to funerals, but Jason does not know if he is holding a lifelong funeral for his mother, himself, or the whole fucking city.

It fits, Jason tells himself, running the box dye through his hair in his too big, personal bathroom, it fits because red stands out too much at night, and 70% of the world’s population has black hair and it helps his civilian identity too. And, a part of him whispers, he looks more like Bruce, like he could actually be his kid. He looks more like that asshat Grayson, who he’s already being compared to. Jason will not let something he can fix ruin his chances here.

Fact: red is a warning, and despite the name, the red markings on black widow spiders are how you know you’re fucked. Poison dart frogs come in red. Red tides promise illness and even death.

What Jason’s getting at is, he won’t be a bad omen for Bruce. He can’t afford to be.

Fact: Superman has black hair, as does Wonder Woman. Black cats may be odd but they’re not bad. Black opals are sold for up to $10,498 per carat. (Spiders and nightmares are also black, but Jason refuses to scratch his bare foot when it starts to itch, or turn around at the creak down the hall.)

  
  


Years later, he is dragged alongside Kori to go shopping and she holds up a black lace bra to go with her little black dress to go with the shiny black heels as an ode to sexiness and to feel like a million dollars but more importantly to be  _ wanted  _ and she asks his opinion and takes the dread in his eyes as the typical masculine fear of lingerie and she laughs and suddenly the colour of his history is spitting in his face because wanting to be wanted comes in every colour, not just red. Later she explains she prefers her lingerie in black over white, but red is probably the best, and she bemoans how it clashes so horridly with her skin tone.

It’s funny, how he surrounds himself with red heads. Barbara and Kori and Roy and Artemis and yet every couple months he buys that same box dye, still ignoring Alfred’s words after all these years (it still can’t cover up the white streaks but he takes what he can get).

It’s funny when Dick dyes the tips of his long hair a dark blue, not noticeable in the dark, and says he was tired of blending in, of looking like Bruce, when Jason is still desperately trying to do just that.

Fact: despite the black hair and shades-of-blue eyes, none of them look alike. Dick and Damian are too dark and Jason and Tim are too light. Tim has unblemished skin where Damian has dark freckles spread artistically across his back and arms. Dick is as naturally hairless as his dad apparently was, while Jason has enough for both of them and it’s already clear Damian will follow Bruce in that department. 

Fact: black hair does not make Jason look like Bruce, or Dick. 

Jason is at the Manor for reasons even he does not quite understand when he sees his roots have started to grow in again, except for the white of course. 

There is a reason Jason wears red, he’s sure a psychiatrist would have a field day with it (with all of him). 

Once, his mom had a red blanket, had jokingly called it Jason’s very own Superman cape as she carefully tied it around his neck. Other times it was stretched out and pinned down to make a ramshackle fort. Or a robe like Caesar. Or an octopus for Jason to tangle with. Mostly, it was the softest thing in their lives. Jason wakes up sometimes clenching his ghost fingers around something not there and there is red seared into the backs of his eyelids that is less hate and more love and Jason lets the feeling of missing something he will never get back weigh him back down into an uneasy sleep.

Fact: Tim and Dick both steal his red hoodies. Barbara’s hair is found in the weirdest of places. Damian always colours his roses red, because they are meant to be that colour. No one wants black roses when they obviously aren’t supposed to be the colour of death. 

It takes longer than Jason expected it to, but eventually, he wipes the steam from his mirror after a shower and sees red, the colour of his wet hair in the morning.


End file.
